About this website

My name is Tom. My second name is McKinney. Combined the two words spell Tom McKinney, and that’s good because it’s my name. Bit of a coincidence eh?

In my spare time I'm often found birdwatching, badger baiting, otter pocketing and committing acts of genocide. My favourite colour is mauve and my favourite drink is Babycham in a straight glass with ice and a straw. My pet hates include people who insist on wearing hats in confined spaces, underground train stations and despotic mad men responsible for genocide.

Before I revolutionised the internet with the very no-holds-barred, groundbreaking, seminal website that you are privileged to be currently reading, I previously revolutionised the world of classical guitar playing with a no-holds-barred, groundbreaking, seminal approach to music making that terrified my contemporaries and peers, leaving them quaking with fear at just how ahead of my time I was. Indeed I was so ahead of my time - a misunderstood demi-God if you will - that my fellow musicians expelled me from the music profession for being just too fucking radical. But before my expulsion I was ordered to get a website made to show off my exceptional musical prowess, a website along similarly lame lines as this:

lameness

or this:

more lameness

So I got someone to illegally burn me a copy of MS Frontpage (Bill Gates - fuck you!) and overnight became a web design sensation, revolutionising the whole image of the internet by placing banners in the the top right corner of web pages. Unfortunately I couldn't be bothered to follow the above examples of lameness and thus set out on my own voyage of revolutionary, agit-prop, radical self-discovery. And here before you is the very result of that personal, often harrowing, expedition into the heart of darkness.

Revolution is the word that defines this website. Fervent political thinking and outrageous opinions about various ethical dilemmas are what this site is about. So if you can’t stand the heat then you can just go and fuck right off out of the fire. Because from this very website are the roots of a radical future now firmly embedded in the rich soils of change.

So in conclusion, this website is the best damn thing you’ll ever come across. If it’s your first visit then BANG! What the fuck have you been pissing about at for so long? You’ll not find any genuine truths out there on Wikipedia, YouTube or Birdforum, oh no, it’s all right here, right now.

Follow this advice: pull up a seat, put your feet up on the table (radical posture), crack open a Babycham, smoke a tab and prepare yourself for intellectual violation. But for Christ’s sake, whatever you do please don’t expect to learn anything useful whatsoever during your virtual visit. At all. In any way, shape or form. Fuck. Tits. Bollocks.

Tom

P.S. Oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies!